Redheads
by CoconutRadish
Summary: Prince Harry, Draco Malfoy, and Harry Potter in a viscous love triangle. TRIGGER WARNING: Death, murder, birth, tomfoolery, non-flesh cannibalism, extreme crack.


Harry screams out in pain

"Get a hold of yer self!" Prince Harry yells, slapping Harry across the stomach Draco watches intensely as Harry cries and pushes out his bastard child Prince Harry smiles as his child is brought into the world, but his happiness quickly fades once he notices the smooth tendrils of pale blond hair on the baby's head

"You fool..." whispers Charles from an unknown corner

Draco couldn't move his eyes from the miracle in front of him. Prince Harry violently cried; as he realized his lover betrayed him "Harry," Draco uttered "HaRRY! Prince Charles screeched, "WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?" Prince slapped Harry's belly and cried out in complete sadness "no!" Draco shouted, "let go of my child"

Prince Charles stared for a ridiculously long time at Draco

"Your child?" His ears fumed and the room became hot with the fiery tension.

At that moment Prince Harry put the whole child into his mouth and consumed it in one gulp

Harry fainted at the sight of his newborn's death

Draco screamed, whether for his child or lover it was uncertain, and ran directly into Prince Harry Draco lunged at the prince and took him by the throat

Gurgled cries and screams of resistance deafened as Draco slashed Prince Harry's jugular

Now the prince sputtered and foamed at his mouth.

Draco screamed as he launched his hand into the Prince and pulled out his newborn

Harry awoke with an intense pain

Draco was by his side with a bundle of blood soaked clothes around their child Harry looked sadly into the eyes of his lover

"Let me see my child" he choked Draco leaned over and dipped the baby into Harry's arms

"He's beautifu-" Harry's words cut off into a shocked scream

"A-another" Harry yelled

Draco panicked in a crab stance and ran to harry's other end "I can see his head!" Draco assured

Harry pushed and the child came out effortlessly

Draco picked him up and wiped the child's face

Red bouncing hair fell in short locks across the childs scalp

Draco gasped in horror

"A weasley!" He cried "Potter you.. you-" Draco was cut short as the door to the emergency room shot open "Harry, I came as soon as I heard!" ron looked at harry and then to the bloody corpse on the floor

Draco and Ron shot a look at eachother Draco fell to the floor cradling the disaster of an infant he thought was his son Harry held the blond boy in his arms and casually removed the sheet off his bed Ron stared in horror at the tiny girl nestled underneath the sheet

Harry leapt off the bed and Ron ran to the side of his sister "Oh god, ginny" Ron grasped the hand of his dear sister "I didnt know you were pregnant"

Ginny started to sob and Harry walked over to draco, who was still kneeling on the ground, trying to bury his head like an ostrich

Harry slipped a sneaky hand through Draco's coat sleeve and pulled out the red headed infant

"ginny" Harry said

"You have wonderful genes"

"Harry juggled the children between his arms and settled them down with ginny

"Oh harry" Ginny laughed

"theres no need to drag this on any longer"

once she said that a giant tarantula crawled out of ginny Ron collapsed onto the floor and nearly drowned in the blood pool

Draco finally composed himself and stood up

"Harry, I am extremely unfazed, try harder next time"

he dusted off the bits of flesh that were on his coat and waltzed away into the hall

Ginny listened to the sounds of distant wailing and tears hitting the floor

"I dont think this could have turned out better" harry chirped "this was a bit lengthy for an assassination, don't you think, Harry? Ginny laughed

"Well they cant pin it on me" Harry let out a hearty laugh Ginny and harry looked at ron, who was still passed out and licking blood

"so when do you want to tell them the tarantula was fake" harry said

"youre the one who gave birth" ginny said "Im surprised the hair dye worked so well" said harry in an instant harry vanished the red hair dye he used on the second boy"

The two blond infants bubbled their spit and and sucked their toes The gaping door to the hall was slammed shut and then launched open Draco rushed into the room and whispered violently into harry's ear Harry's stomach did a somersault as dracos breath tickled his ear

"I was with the Prince while you were buying groceries"

Harry gasped and Draco laughed handsomely

"I will take the redhead and be on my way" Draco announced Draco sauntered over to the bloodied corpse that he once called his man and tossed him over his shoulder

He then walked briskly to ginny

"_all_ the redheads" he said with his sultry country voice Ginny jumped as draco stacked her on top of Prince Harry He walked, be it a bit slowly, to Ron of the floor kingdom "This one too?" Harry asked

Draco smirked and picked up Ron with his pinky finger

"Jealous, Potter?"

Draco then looked around the room

"Now," he said, " wheres the little ginger boy?"

Harry's body suddenly heated up and started sweating violently

"Ginny-uh-had him for a midnight snack" Harry croaked

"Pity," Draco started, "He had the most beautiful green eyes,1

With that Draco started to walk but stopped at the entrance

He shot a glance back and said in a haunting voice, " meet me in the parking lot in 13 minutes."

"It'll really only take you thirty minutes?" Harry asked in a startled tone

"No, more like 5" Draco chuckled, " Im giving you time to...get ready."

Draco left the room and skipped down the halls

Harry looked at the mess on the floor and sighed

He decided now or never and licked up the blood all over the room

He looked over the job he had done and was extremely proud with his work

He glanced at the clock and 27 minutes had passed since he started cleaning Harry nearly screamed at the clock for being so evil and gathered his coat and ran outside Harry ran into the parking lot and started walkin down the rows of cars

"Hey," Draco said, leaning on a white mini van

"You're late"

Harry turned around and there stood draco dripping in blood

Harry nearly walked into the long butcher cleaver that Draco was pointy straight at him

"Draco...what did you do to them?" Harry asked with a quivering voice

Draco laughed and pulled Harry around the van.

Draco forced Harry onto the ground, and he perched down right in front of him.

"Potter..." Draco whispered, "You know what really-" He paused to slice the cleaver along his hand, "excites me?"

Harry was already crying by the time Draco finished, and he only then noticed the freshly rolled coat of paint on the pavement was actually blood.

"Wha-wh-," the words jumped out of Harry's mouth, incomprehensible

Draco's grin stretched wider and he leaned forward; he was so close that Harry could see a malevolent glint in his eye.

"Want to know?" Draco mumbled, stroking the cleaver's smooth side on Harry's thigh

Panicked and afraid, Harry's head spun as the cleaver etched up his body, leaving behind smears of blood.

"Please, Malfoy," Harry begged," Draco-."

The blade just reached his neck before Draco leaned back and sighed. He removed the cold metal, and rubbed a wet hand on Harry's head; the curly tufts of hair smoothed back in response.

"It's okay," Draco said gently, flashing a smile that made Harry doubt his sudden sympathy.

Draco withdrew his hand and staggered to his feet.

"Just- sit," Draco commanded, "and stay...stay." Draco pointed to him like he was ordering a puppy to be still. Harry watched as the taller boy walked to the back of the van. Then the doors opened and he heard Draco fumbling around with things in the back compartment.

Without the threat of looming demise the thought of running entered his head. Should he try to make a break for it? Would Draco chase him? How far could he go? _Where_ would he go? _What is Draco doing?_

The thought train halted as Harry saw Draco come back around the van, now pulling a bucket with him.

He could hear the sloshing of liquid in it, but the lid was keeping it from spilling out.

Draco planted the bucket in front of Harry, and Draco stared at him-an imposing, frightening look.

Harry looked up at Draco; he didn't know if he could be intimidating with a tearful face, but he would try.

Harry attempted to scowl and glare at the towering boy.

However, he felt his heart drop when Draco sniggered and looked as though he was trying to contain his amusement.

"You know, you know," Draco revelled, "The thing I- _really- _like?"

Harry watched as draco got to his knees and snapped the lid off the bucket.

He dipped both hands in the bucket, and Harry wished he had ran when they came out red.

"Oh, god-no" Harry screamed.

He winced as the stench and sight of blood hit him in an instant. It was a grotesque, metallic smell, and it became worse when Draco brought his hands up and worked it into Harry's scalp

"What I really like-," Draco began. He stopped stroking harry's hair and looked like he was thinking hard.

Draco grabbed Harry's hair, pulled him into the bucket and yanked him out in one motion.

His hold loosened and he stroked his fingers along harry's soaking wet, red hair.

"Is redheads."


End file.
